Week 3 – Ups and Downs

Learning Points …

Last week was a bit of a roller-coaster. It had it’s ups – watching NW & NH in Denver do such a good job for the JISC and UKFAM; having TW visit and “patient-sit” me while Jenny went for a hospital appointment; having a lovely walk and chat with EW who was also “patient-sitting” me; and catching-up with a few things in respect of affairs I’m dealing with in Hastings. It had it’s downs – the urticaria and the “night sweats” both got me down quite a bit, but I had a really bad day yesterday when I got quite depressed. So what do I take from last week?

  1. Getting something “substantial done” is a big call – pottering is about all you can manage after an operation like this. You get extra-ordinarily tired, even when you don’t think you’re doing anything.
  2. Following on from this, I think I can fairly say that you suffer a progressive energy drain as the days away from Day 0 increase. I shouldn’t be surprised at that, should I? After all my body is mending itself … bigtime. Patience is not a virtue I possess. It’s hard when it’s being imposed on me.
  3. When the adrenalin rush comes, as it it did for a couple of days last week, do you ride the wave or throttle back? I really don’t know – I’ll tell you next week. I do know that Friday was a really low-day and that Jenny had to work really hard to motivate me to do anything. I felt really sorry for myself but it was interesting how a chance meeting with a neighbour (DJ) caused me to “buck my ideas up” and “snap out of it”, causing me to believe that I don’t need to stay in a depressed state for any length of time. I’m sure there will be other days like Friday, but now I know what to expect!
  4. Celebrate the fact that broadly I achieved the objectives I set myself last week. I did specify the PC; I have almost come to a decision about BT Vision – though we used it last night to watch the Frost/Nixon film; I did write a couple of blogposts (and I did a lot of reading and viewing of the Educause 09 Conference in Denver); I did spend some time on my own and in some small ways did more for myself. So on balance I ended the week in a better place than I started. Bring on the champagne – forgot, I’m off wine for a couple more days.

Hopes and fears for Week 4 – I think I’ve got myself into a better place mentally for the coming week. Have had two “setbacks” so hope to learn from them. An obvious fear I have is that I start feeling sorry for myself. Having written that down here – I trust it won’t happen. 🙂 I’m really looking forward to a couple of visits by friends next week. I realise that they could also be tiring, so I must make allowances and take proper rest as well.

Objectives – not so many this week I feel. I think the coming week will be a reading and watching week. Got some stuff I want to read, I may have got to the moment when I can give some time to some serious reading. I also want to watch more of my Michael Palin Travel DVDs; Planet Earth; and the Lord of the Rings – it’s about time I gave that another outing otherwise I’ll wonder why I ever bought it in the first instance. Also I think I’ll work my way through the complete Beatles collection which I bought a few weeks back. I’m surprised from my sampling to date how much I’m enjoying the tracks I didn’t like at the time, and how extra good the ones I did used to enjoy are now in re-mastered stereo. The most serious objective is to do more walking. Been too much “in my head” this last week, must get out and exercise more – it would be good to find some trousers though that don’t chaff the scar on my leg; that would make things easier. Perhaps I’ll resurrect my “joggers” from the bottom drawer. 🙂

A few words about Jenny

Jenny does not find my twittering, blogging and other engagements with social networking easy to accept. She does however recognise it’s important to me, and that it’s helping my recovery and my coming to terms with what’s happened to me.

Because of her reluctance to engage with this media, I’ve kept references to her to a minimum as she’s essentially a very private person and this is NOT a private mode of communication. She doesn’t like to be referred to directly – hence my earlier use of MrsDIH to refer to her. Recently however she assertively stated that she was not MrsDIH – hence s/MrsDIH/MrsJKH/. However, for a complete record of the happenings of the past few weeks it’s essential for me to acknowledge how much she’s been part of my recovery, so I’m sorry Jenny – you have to step into the limelight.

I’ve been flippant at times about her constant and dedicated caring and looking out for me. If she hadn’t done that, I would have been like a bull charging a gate – confident that the more I battered it, the more likely I would be to get through. So she’s reigned me back, reminded me almost constantly to “take it easy”, reminding me not to stretch, not to lift, to take a rest, and more!

I also want to record a correction to an earlier post where I suggested that she’d “been on my case” about lifting  a heavy book. That of course was only a very minor part of the visits she made to me in The Heath. She brought me in sandwiches, drinks, clean towels daily. Often the weight of these were far more than she should have been lifting given her own condition, but she did it all without complaint and I’ll be always grateful for her support and help in getting me through the hospitalization part of the journey.

Now I’m home, she’s there to do what she can for me, never complaining and always willing. Taking on huge amounts of washing to ensure we have good infection control in operation. To say that I couldn’t have done this without her is a vast understatement of all I owe her, but it’s true and I do owe her big time. I love you Jenny.